Right now I'm listening to the song "Crazy For You" by Madonna over and over again and thinking about how in love I am. I'm totally not kidding.

Most people I know have already seen this (make sure you have your speakers on before viewing). It's the Atlanta Grape thing. For broadband only though, cause it's about 14MB. But totally worth it. Soooo funny (again proving that I'm an asshole). Worth doing a "right click/save as."

There are three sports channels that come with the cable package I have: ESPN, EuroSport, and Sport5 (it's the sports channel for the country). ESPN and EuroSport are the standard fare, but on Sport5 I am currently watching two teams of 12 year-old girls playing soccer against each other on half a pitch. What's even weirder is that there is a huge crowd there cheering for them. They seem more into than the fans of the Chicago Fire ever were. The game just ended and now the sports-announcer-guy is shoving the mic in the face of the best player from the winning team and interviewing her as if she is a professional soccer player. Her answers are so cliched that she certainly sounds like a pro.
Sport5 tends to be a mix of the most popular sporting events in the country (like the best soccer and basketball teams playing one another, top spanish league soccer, et cetera) mixed with sporting events that wouldn't even be aired by cable access in the states. The difference is, Sport5 is well funded so they bring a huge production value to these sports that nobody but people's parents would normally care about.
It's making me think how this is like a movie come true for these kids. This little 12 year-old girl is on national television after scoring the goal that won the big game. Wasn't this every kids dream after seeing The Mighty Ducks? This could never happen in America, but here these little girls really are being cheered on by a huge crowd of fans (with giant flags, and drums, and in-unison cheers) and then being interviewed for playing a good game afterward. I wonder if reality is as good as the dream.

I made this pasta and tomato sauce. It was actually a special kind of pasta that is actually shaped like rice. It's also called "Ben-Gurion Pasta" here because David Ben-Gurion was apparently the one who told them to make the pasta like that. Anyhow, I was making this pasta, and when I added the salt I just poured it from the bag rather then bother putting it into the salt shaker and then into the boiling water/pasta. Needlesstosay, I overkilled the salt a bit. I didn't really know the extent to my overkill till I tried to eat it. VERY SALTY. I made a whole bag of it though, and I didn't want to waste it so I decided to add a bunch of stuff to make it blander and just try eat the whole thing. It was still salty, but I ate it. It also made me really dehydrated, so I was drinking water like a camel for the two days it took me to finish it. By the end I was over-hydrated and having to go to the bathroom, like, every five minutes. That annoyed me so much that I decided to drastically cut my water intake for the next couple days after that. I ended up making myself dehydrated again. It's the circle of life.

I can take apart and reassemble an M-16 in about 22 seconds. I think that is a talent that I never (ever) imagined myself possessing before living here.

So today was "Holocaust Remembrance Day" here. This means that there was nothing but really depressing shit about jews getting killed on tv all day. It also means that, at 10am, sirens sounded all over the country and everyone stoped whatever they were doing (even driving, which is a big deal for Israelis). Anyhow, I was sleeping when the sirens went off. I stopped what I was doing.

So not long ago I was in the checkout aisle of the grocery store on a Friday afternoon (which means it was crazy busy), when this old lady tries to cut in front of me in the line. I was kinda stunned by how blatant it was, so I nicely told her that I was in front of her and she needed to get behind me. She instantly started yelling at me that she is an old lady and I am a young man, so I should let her go first. I stayed calm and explained that, while I do have respect for my elders, I also think there are rules of good behavior that we should all follow. I then went on to say that I only had 3 things to buy and was paying with a credit card, so I would also be done very quickly (as opposed to her shopping cart full of shit and her general vibe of "its gonna take me at least 10 min. between the moment the cashier tells me the total to the moment i give her all the money"). Anyhow, she then just started yelling at me that I should be ashamed of myself and that I should be embarrassed for treating her like this. The cashiers (who are all russian, btw) were just smiling and trying not to laugh. At this point I figured that it was better to just cut my losses, so I got in the next line over (which was bigger than my line, of course). As I was leaving the store the old lady was still arguing with the cashier about how much she had to pay.

But I knew this even before it was published in THIS story in today's NY Post. I was also happy to learn that the Sisters Olsen are officially "jew friendly."

(via The Onion)

(via Best Week Ever)

It's gonna be on the next Caviar record. If you don't know who they are and you love good rock music, then you should investigate them a bit. Anyhow, right-click on this badboy and save as...

Easy, if your Nickelback. Check out this mash of Nickelback doing "How You Remind Me" in the right channel and "Someday" in the left channel. At least they changed the lyrics.

(via Stereogum via the Magnificent Bastard)

- I found this story a little weird. Short version: A 15 year-old girl sent pics of herself "in various states of undress" and is now being charged with "sexual abuse of children, possession of child pornography and dissemination of child pornography." So you can be charged with sexually abusing yourself? Also, does this mean that any minor can go to jail for owning a naked pic of themselves?

- Miss Slash Temp is really all over The Sun. Check out the recent links and you'll see about half of them taken from the same british rag. Verdict: More sources needed.

- Way too many people still don't have Skype. What's that about? Join the ranks in the war against paying phone bills! If you need a mic the combo with the headphones is around $10, so go buy one!

- Sarah and Lindsay (who's signature color is red, btw) will soon be living together. I dunno why, but this seems to bring a smile to my face. I just wanna be sure that Brian gets his ass over there to document some of the fun-ness that will ensue (or at the very least, Bloggy McDish needs to fabricate some shit about the fun-ness).

to thank The Black Man for being nice enough to invent modern music. It was nice of him, and we are all forever in his debt.